Hello again old friend!
I've thought about this blog a lot - I thought about returning to write a few things down, but haven't because quite frankly I didn't feel like I had anything of value to contribute. No final results, no amazing transformation picture - no stats. I'm still struggling. Still working on the last of the baby weight, before I can even start to tackle the weight I was when I began this blog in the first place!
It's a little heart breaking actually. Re-reading my first few posts, seeing how upset I was sitting at 207 pounds - adamant that I will never see that number again, and yet here I am at 213 pounds, and I would be thrilled to see 207 again. Heartbreaking. That's really all I can describe it as.
I've come a long way mind you - and I can't ignore all my hard work as of late - 213 actually makes me pretty happy considering the bigger numbers that have popped up on the scale this year.
The night I went into labour carrying my baby girl my scale read 245. 4 days later when I got home from the hospital without the baby my scale read 239. That's right - I gave birth to an 8 pound 7 oz baby and lost 6 pounds - the hell?
By the time I got through my 6 week C-section recovery time frame my scale read 220. Since then, it's all me - sadly I was unable to breast feed - which burns an additional 500+ calories a day just making milk for your little one, so everything I've been able to lose has been through my own eating and working out.
Currently as I sit here at 213 I have set that same first goal again to break 200 by my birthday (Aug 27th). Frankly I would love to blow 200 out of the water and see 189 by the end of August, but I'm trying not to go too big and set myself up for failure.
Since I'm back in the weight loss mind set I find I'm struggling with all the "tips and advice" I see around me all the time. You know the one's...
"Eat every 3 hours"
"You should eat 6 small meals a day"
"You should stick to a lower caloric intake"
"Count Calories so you know how much you are putting in your body"
to name a few.
And I suppose the reason why I keep doing the weight loss dance is because I hate the rules. All those rules. I despise measuring my food. I hate using a scale to ensure I'm getting exactly 4oz of protein, and I feel like a spectacle trying to add up how many calories I'm allowed for the whole day and ensuring I'm not going over it. And don't even get me started on trying to ensure I'm eating every couple hours!
The truth of the matter is, I'm a pretty laid back person, and I find weight loss high maintenance. I have a love for life, and I don't like to be restricted in any way. I just discovered a new fitness blog called Nerd Fitness and the creater is a huge supporter of the Paleo Diet - which in a nut shell is just to eat the way hunter/gatherers did - food that did not need to be processed to consume (no grains or dairy) just veggies, fruit and protein. Now I have a real issue with turning my nose up at dairy, but the grains I can totally do. As it is Ben and I try to eat relatively gluten free during the week as we find we end up with more energy and less belly bloat, but Paleo aside the best part about this blog is that he states "it's okay to miss a meal, eat when you are hungry and as much as you want" bells went off when I read that! I love that kind of thing! I can totally get behind that!
That was a selling feature for me - not just of Paleo eating, but just of a way of healthy eating! Never before have I heard (read) someone tell me that it's okay to miss a meal if you want! Personally I love intermittent fasting, but so many people in the health and fitness world as well as in my own life have judged me for it that I just choose not to tell people about it.
My kind of diet is one where I can eat a big plate full of healthy yummy food when I'm hungry, and not stress about eating stupid little 100 calorie snacks throughout the day if I don't have time! I have an 8 month old baby girl! I miss meals all the time when I'm busy with her, and eating at 8am, 12pm and 5pm just doesnt' always fit in my day! Sometimes, breakfast is at 10:45am in the morning after Inara has gone down for a nap, and lunch is a snack at 2:30pm before dinner at 5pm when Ben gets home. I spent so long feeling guilty about eating that way, and here is a guy telling me that's okay! I kind of want to hug him!
It's basically what I've been doing all along, but having someone tell me it's okay, and it's a way that I can eat and still lose weight is a huge relief! I've been beating myself up over my eating and time and time again I've been lying in bed at the end of the day fighting to sleep, and re-working my fitness and eating plan over and over again "I need to get up at 7am and have a protein shake..." "If I make a lot of little snacks throughout the day then I can make sure I'm always snacking on something while looking after Inara" etc. It's exhausting! And quite frankly I just don't work that way! I don't get up early in the morning, my schedule is rarely the same day in and day out, and I suck as pre-planning snack foods! I have enough to do!
So here's my new plan: to hell with "Lunch hour". I will eat when I'm hungry - if that's at 7am, so be it! If it's closer to 11am - awesome. I always kind of felt like I was doing the oposite of what I needed to do by eating all the time - I kind of like the feeling of being hungry. Not in an eating disorder sort of way, but rather, I feel like if I wait until I feel that empty feeling and hear that low growl, then I know I'm eating because I'm hungry, not because I'm bored, or that I have a craving, but because I'm actually running on empty. And as someone who has struggled with a lot of food issues all my life - I feel like this is the best thing I can do for myself. Stop, (collaborate) and Listen to my body.
