So yesterday, aside form the 2 brownies, and the one chocolate I ate, I ate very light. In fact I have been eating pretty light for the last couple days so I was anticipating today to be the morning the scale dropped a little more - but it didn't. This morning the scale still read 206.7. I didn't understand it then, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized why my weight is stagnant.
I haven't pooped recently.
And by Recently, I mean since Saturday.
With it being Wednesday, I have some serious back up going on. (I told you this would be TMI).
Then in thinking on it some more, I figured out what I had changed, that also changed my natural bodily functions. The Coffee. I cut out coffee starting on Thursday. I have almost gone a week without coffee, and I have gone 4 days without a BM. So there's my weight stall.
My eating has been great, and I've been drinking tons of water, but clearly my body needs what Ben lovingly refers to as "the Flusher" - my morning cup of Joe. I have found that my body needs extreme measures to function properly - such a eating a giant bowl of green grapes to myself, eating a daily avocado, or drinking a large cup of coffee. Normal high fiber eating doesn't work for me. So maybe I was a little too hasty to cut the coffee so quickly. So as I type this right now, sitting at my desk, I have a full cup of coffee in front of me that I'm waiting to cool. But this time, I put in half of the amount of sugar and creamer that I usually use - meaning this is a 75 calorie drink, and I can work with that. It may not taste as good as it usually does, and chances are, I'm not going to enjoy it as much - but if it means that I can get back to a daily constitutional - then I'll give it a try.
Start Reading Here (if you want to skip the TMI part)
That out of the way, lets talk about my workout last night! I must admit, it wasn't the most intense workout I've done so far. A while back I saw a Groupon for Shaun T's Rockin Body DVD's for $20. Since I'm always on the look out for new and fun workouts (and I love me some Shaun T) I bought it. I mean seriously - what's $20? It FINALLY arrived yesterday (after about 5-6 weeks waiting), so I decided to pop it in, and see what Shaun T had in store for me. I did the Mark Move and Groove workout (15 minutes) and most of the Party Express workout (25 minutes). My knee was giving me some issues from earlier in the day, so I cut my Party Express workout short so I didn't do any further damage. Mark Move and Groove totally felt like a beginner "learn to dance" video. It was a lot of slow steps and repetition. And I was fully aware that it wasn't going to be the intensity that I needed. 15 minutes were up and I hadn't even broken a sweat.
So I decided to pop in Party Express. This was more like it! Right off the bat the energy was so much higher, and there were more moves, and quicker changes in between - including some high kicks! Thank goodness, I was a little worried that the Rockin Body workout would just not work for me! I made it about 12 minutes in before I started to get a twinge in my knee whenever I bent it - and fearing a week in my knee brace, I cooled down early and shut off the DVD.
I'm a little sad that I didn't have a crazy intense workout, like previous days, but at the same time I need some "active rest" days as well, so that's what I'll count yesterday, since it was the 6th day in a row of working out.
Last night was also Biggest Loser night, (Ben and I watch it every Tuesday, usually after my Pump and Groove class, but there was no class yesterday as they are on a break this week). This was the first time since the series started that I haven't felt bad about myself while watching people the same size as me work their asses off to make a life change. It made me feel really good about myself actually. I also downed a lot of water during the show, and just felt lighter climbing into bed at the end of the night, rather than heavier.
Tonight we have friends coming over for dinner, and we're making meatloaf, potatoes, and salad (so a little on the heavier side of our regular meals - we're totally chicken stir fry people). So I'm going to make sure to have a small portion of meatloaf and up my veggies instead.
I'm also going to do a weight training workout too just because tomorrow I plan on doing the Fit Test again, and since yesterday was also Cardio, I'm going to mix it up with some strength training in between. (I also want to give my knee another day to rest before I have to start doing high knees, burpees, and jump squats again. I'm excited to do the Fit Test! I will post all my scores again but I'm almost certain I'm going to have some awesome numbers!!
Also, I'm going to have my first big weight loss challenge coming up this weekend, as Ben and I are heading to Saskatchewan to visit my Baba and Gido, and where there's Baba, there's Ukrainian food, and lots of it. I plan to bring my 5 pound dumbbells and my yoga mat, and do some exercise when I'm there, but I know eating is going to be the most difficult challenge for me. Ukrainian Baba's don't understand the meaning of the sentence "I don't want seconds". I'm also really excited because I haven't seen my grandparents since our wedding reception in July 2010, and we haven't been out to the Farm since shortly after we were engaged in 2009 (when Ben met my entire extended family on my Dad's side, and did phenomenal!).
I guess I'm also nervous because my Baba has always been a "call it as I see it" sort of a person, and ever since I was a little girl she has been criticizing my weight, which used to send me into a downward spiral of self loathing and emotional eating - which is really a vicious cycle. I'm so worried that she is going to comment on my size, and I don't know if I can take it right now. The last time she saw me, I was 20 pounds lighter, and although I've been working really hard to get this weight off me - all she is going to see is 200 pound Heather walk through her door.
My cousin Kim once told me, that before heading home to the farm to see Baba and Gido, she asked her Fiance "Okay, do I look too fat? or Too Skinny - tell me now so I can be prepared for what Baba will say". As far as I can tell Kim has never had any sort of struggle with her weight. She has always been beautiful slender and toned, but she got the comments too - I think all us girls did.
This is horrible, I'm making my Baba out to sound like such a horrid person. She's really not - she's a wonderful loving woman, she just doesn't have the same societal filter the rest of us have. If you gain weight, she will ask you why, not to be cruel and uncaring, but just out of curiosity. My other cousin Krysta (Kim's sister) lost weight for her wedding, and Baba said to her "Krysta, you look so great! You used to be so fat!" Of course the rest of us probably would have given the compliment like this: "Krysta, you look so great! You've lost so much weight!" or "You are so tiny!". But not Baba.
I'm hoping I'm now at the place in my life when I can laugh about it... but we'll see what she says when she sees me. I have never been able to take comments about my weight lightly, and considering I have been overweight 97% of my life, you would think I could deal by now - but nope. Heather turns into Heffer really easily when you are in elementary school, and although I've built myself a very tough skin, and it may look like it doesn't effect me, it still cuts deep, and those wounds take a long time to heal.
Well Now. This became one hell of a depressing Blog Entry. Go me!
Anyway - self esteem aside - my uncle Russ told me he's going to get out the Ski-Doo's for when we are out there, so I'm pretty thrilled for that! The last time I was on a Ski-doo I think I was 7 or 8, so this should be a fun time! Ben's parents lent us their snow suits too - which is awesome because I only have a dress jacket (peti-coat). I think all in all this will be an awesome weekend!! I can just get a little "in my head" at times and worry about every little thing, but I think we're going to have a blast!
Also - They don't have internet at the farm, in fact they don't even have a computer, so I won't be posting daily blog entries, but I will be bringing my laptop and writing every day, but unfortunately you will just have to wait for Monday night for me to post them all!
Here's your daily dose of Motivation! (I think this is fitting)
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